


You'll Never Feel So

by ramp_it_up



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramp_it_up/pseuds/ramp_it_up
Summary: The reader feels helpless when Lin needs time to cool down. The cold shoulder ensues..
Relationships: Lin-Manuel Miranda/Reader, Lin-Manuel Miranda/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	You'll Never Feel So

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:18+ Only Cursing; Angst; SMUT* (oh its so dirty) marriage, parenting, argument, resentment, insecurity, makeup sex.

….” one of the little boys in his class was yelling at him ‘BE SCARED.’ every morning, so he was scared to go back to school.” 

You looked at Lin’s profile as he stared at his laptop screen. He looked at you when he heard of his son’s trouble, his eyebrows raised, expression turning sour.

“So Ms. Carico introduced me to the little boy, Randy, and she didn’t tell me, but it’s obvious that the sweet boy is autistic, and he doesn’t mean any harm. He was just trying to get into the Halloween spirit, in his own way.” 

Lin’s face relaxed and a look of uncertainty crossed his features. Damn his expressive face.

“Even though I tried to explain how people are different on the way home, our little buddy is still afraid, and doesn’t quite understand. He’s only three.” 

You didn’t look Lin in the eye as you piled your hair on top of your head and then let it pop back into place, as your eyes were closed. You were avoiding them anyway. Damn soulful eyes. You didn’t see how those eyes traced over your torso next to him on the couch.

When you turned back to him again, he was looking at his screen again. He glanced back at you. “Ok. I will take him to school in the morning and talk to him. Have some special one on one time. I’ll pick them both up in the afternoon as well.” 

“Thanks.” Going back to being short with him was comforting, the stretch of talking with him in more than single syllables was threatening your heart.

You had been fine for almost 4 days. 5 days ago was one of your Big Fights. You only had them about twice a year, but you always felt so desolate afterward. You were tired of the same recurring issues. Your job was demanding and you felt like you were being superwoman all by yourself. Lin was always writing or working and grew impatient and annoyed by your impatience and annoyance. You screamed, he shut down. Both of which just made the other angrier. 

He said he needed space, which meant for you to back off so he could calm down, but you took offense and gave him plenty of space which was the silent treatment. Long after he was calm, you were still silent because boy, could you hold a grudge. It was exhausting for both of you, but neither would break.

You got up from the couch and headed toward the bedroom.

“I wish I would have known before he went to sleep.” You paused momentarily, then kept walking.

“Sorry, we barely had time to get dinner before bedtime. And you were busy…” you left the ‘as usual’ unspoken. Lin’s eyes followed you to the other room. He sighed and rubbed his head and finished the section he was writing.

Lin came to bed about an hour later and you were on the edge of the bed farthest away from his side. The expanse between the two of you was cold and large. He fell in, exhausted and sad. 

Before he knew it, he was awake and you were dressed, ready for work with a curt “Bye,” as you headed out the door with your oldest, your youngest climbing in the bed with him.

“Love you, have a good day.” He said it to your back and the reply he received was, “Love you too, Daddy,” from the oldest. Nothing from you.

“Time to get ready for school buddy!” Lin as dad was the only agenda right now. 

\----

That evening, you came home to a strange sound of quiet. Friday nights at home were usually movie and pizza night, and Lin always had the boys hopped up and destroying the house. You were suspicious.

Lin greeted you.

"Hey."

Lin came out of the kitchen looking so good. He had on a soft long-sleeved pullover that showcased his shoulders and frame, but was loose around the neck so you could see his collarbone. The weirdest body parts on this man made you wet, but you had to remain strong.

"Lin." You greeted him curtly as you walked in the house, not wanting to give in. “Where are the kids?”

“They’re at my folks. We went by there on the way home from school and they wanted to stay.” Those damn eyes followed you around the house as you took off your heels and deposited your bag and keys on the console table.

“Oh.” You could smell your favorite chicken alfredo from Antonio’s, and you could see the bags in the kitchen as you went to the couch But you weren’t going to fall for it.

“How was the talk?”

“Good. I think he understands a little more. We made it a point to talk to Randy when we got to school. I think he will be okay.”

You were relieved. “Good.” You smiled a little. It wouldn’t hurt. You could be sociable. “We can go get them tomorrow and go to the bookstore.”

Lin paused. On the inside, he was dying. But he was also an actor.

“If you want to. My parents said they would keep them until Sunday…”

You looked at him blankly. He just sighed and went back in the kitchen. 

“I have food. Are you hungry?” 

He started to remove the food from the bags. You joined him in sorting all the cartons, working side by side in the kitchen. It felt good, familiar. You didn’t want that feeling, though. Feeling nothing was safer. Love sucked. You didn’t care that you were being dramatic. He’d hurt your feelings.

"Want some wine?" 

You watched him as he uncorked the bottle. Why was that so attractive to you right now? Lin gripping the bottle and the veins on his hands and forearms bulging gave you all kinds of inappropriate thoughts.

Lin watched you watching him, and he gave you one of his damned half grins. 

"I decided to branch out with this one. It has hints of chocolate." Lin poured you both some wine and walked toward you with it.

"Thank you."

Shit, you thought. I'm gonna drop my panties if I don't take control. If he wanted “space,” he wasn’t going to get the goods. You shook out of it, strengthened your petty, took the glass, and moved away from him.

LIn thought he had you as he moved toward you with the wine, your wide eyes and open mouth a reminder of how fucking sexy you were. But then, when you moved and turned away from him, he was reminded of how fucking stubborn you were.

He just nodded and smiled to himself. Your attitude and the childless house was beginning to make him hard. Lin knew what you needed. He needed it too.

"So, um... To tonight?" 

Lin closed the space you’d made between them and raised his glass for a toast. You glanced at him quickly, clanked your glass, said “hmmph” and moved another two feet away, crossing your arms against your body. Your best defense.

Lin just smiled again. You both stood and drank in silence, you, closing your eyes and whispering, "oh my god." The wine tasted like heaven and reminded you of how Lin’s skin tasted after sex.

It was then that Lin took the opportunity when your eyes were closed to move his eyes down your body. It almost pained him to not take you in his arms. 

When you opened your eyes, you realized what you'd said. You quickly glanced at him and whispered, "This is good," indicating the wine. You were trying to explain your emotion as you saw him looking hungrily at you. You got lost in his pretty browns as he bit his lip.

"The wine. So good." It was all you could say. You looked away again, not wanting to get caught up. You drank some more wine, your body warming up from the alcohol. You prayed for strength. You were still mad, right? 

You wouldn’t be you if… “So. What is all this for? What are you trying to do here?”

Lin’s face fell. “Way to ruin the vibe.”

You put your glass down, ready for the fight.

“What vibe, Lin? I thought you wanted space.”

Lin’s face changed. “You know that I didn’t want space from you… You know what, c’mere.”

Lin grabbed your hand pulled.You protested. “What the fuck are you doing!”

You stopped in the kitchen and Lin turned back to you, tone menacing.

“If you don’t come with me right now, I swear…” He was angry, and done with your shenanigans. It was so fucking sexy.

“Let’s go.” Got damn if that didn’t make you wet. You obeyed as Lin took your elbow and led you up the stairs to your rooftop deck where he had installed fairy lights, with a small table for two with more wine and chocolate covered strawberries. 

“This fucking vibe.”

Lin couldn't take his eyes off you, so fucking beautiful. He watched the color in your cheeks, then you gasp of wonder and wide eyes as you saw what was there. He took the opportunity to take in your reaction.

"Woooow!" you whispered excitedly as you looked around the space and back to Lin. You decided that you might not be so angry after all.

"You did all of this for me?" You looked all around and to the ledge, looking out over the New York skyline, rubbing your arms for warmth.

It was Lin’s turn to be speechless. This woman did not know how much he loved her. He just came up behind you and took you in his arms like he wanted to earlier. You let him. He kissed your neck. 

"Look at the stars! They are so bright." Everything about this was beautiful and you didn’t want to resist any longer.

Lin turned you around and looked up with you. He was so damned handsome. And sexy. You laughed a little bit at the request, then said "Ok." You wished an old wish quickly and turned back to him, expectantly. "Aren't you going to make one?"

Lin caressed your cheek. "No need." And he leaned in to give you the most devastating kiss.

It was everything. You kissed him back, and forgot your beef, because you were helpless at this point.

“So. Are you still in this with me? Do you forgive me that I sometimes dive so deep into work that I forget to worship you for the beautiful, and fucking sexy, goddess that you are?” Lin was looking at you dangerously, and his hands were creeping down from your back to your ass. You kept your mouth closed.

“Forgive me?”

It was all so intense. The energy was thick. Lin knew. But he had to hear it from you.

You closed your eyes. Lin dipped his head to lick from your collar bone to your earlobe. 

"Forgive me." The whisper was more urgent than a mutherfucker.

You were definitely caught up. You took a deep breath, opened your eyes and looked at Lin.

"Yeah," you whispered. "Even though you’re an ass, I forgive you. It’s just that when you say that you need space, I’m scared you’re going to leave me. It hurts me. Do you forgive me for being a shrew?" You held your breath for his response. You could really be a raging bitch and you knew you tested his patience.

Lin shook his head, eyes shining. “I could never leave you. You and the boys are my life. And as far as you being a shrew...And where two raging fires meet together, they do consume the thing that feeds their fury: Though little fire grows great with little wind, Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all: So I to her and so she yields to me; For I am rough and woo not like a babe.”

The last line was delivered with a sexy inflection in his voice and a smack to your ass. He grabbed the strawberries and champagne and led you back downstairs. It was getting serious now. You were in the bedroom watching him place the food and drink on the bedside table.

“What are we doing here?” Lin ignored your instigation. It was purely a rhetorical question. It had been almost a week. 

You started backing up, never losing eye contact with Lin.

"Where are you going? Don't run from me. C'mere."

Lin stopped chasing you and beckoned you to him with his finger. You went to him.

He put his hands on your shoulders, ran them down your arms to your hands and back up to your shoulders. You shivered.

"What's wrong? Cold?" He smiled sexily at you. You just nodded and focused on his lips.

"Let's see." He slowly pulled your sweater down to reveal your bra. Lin pulled the top down your torso, over your hips and knelt on the floor as he pulled it down to your feet. You stepped out of it as Lin looked up at you the whole time.

The view was beautiful from where he was. Lin put his nose in your crotch and inhaled your scent, Damn, he'd missed that. He stood up and unbuttoned your pants, pulling you toward him as he unzipped them.

He kissed your lips, your chin, your neck and shoulder before he got to your sensitive nipples through your bra. Lin bit them through the lace to get them a little harder, then he slipped them out of their cups as his tongue snaked out and tasted each of them. He kept eye contact as he skillfully unclasped your bra. You were mesmerized.

"Mmmmm. So sweet. Pussy's even sweeter."

You convulsed at his words and at the fact that Lin started sucking your nipples, hard. He grabbed you up and took you to the bed when your knees got weak. You closed your eyes and moaned when he pulled your right nipple between his teeth. You began to wonder if he was trying to... you sighed as he slipped his hand into your panties. Thank god.

You felt wonderfully wet, even before he parted your lips down there. And when he slipped two fingers in, good lord, you were tight. Fuck.

Lin shifted off the bed so that he was kneeling and pulled your panties off at the same time. He moved around and looked between as he put your legs on his shoulders.

"Your pussy is a work of art. Do you know that?"

He stared at the glistening, tight little flower and felt his cock grow. He palmed his jeans as he listened to you whimper. Then he leaned over, and licked the drop of wetness rolling down your folds.

You nearly came on the spot as Lin started slurping, licking and working your clit. He started moaning which got you going good.

"Damn, tastes like heaven. I wanted you to cum on my cock, but you might have to cum on my face first."

One of your hands was gripping the sheets beside you and one hand was gripping his hair.

"Damn. Lin." You could barely speak.

Lin drove his mouth deeper into your pussy, and reached up to twist your rock hard nipples. Your crotch lifting up off the bed and into Lin’s face as you came.

When you were coming down, Lin took off his shirt and wiped his face with it.

"Oh, tonight is gonna get nasty I see," he said, as he took his jeans off.

You stared at his dick. It was beautiful and pouding with desire. He sat down beside you, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand.

"Are you going to do as I ask, my love?" All you could do was nod.

"Good. Now sit on this." He pointed to his throbbing mass.

You scrambled up and swung your left leg over his lap. He stared up at you with those brown eyes. You were positioned above the tip and could feel it throbbing. You eased down and could feel it part you, his head thicker than your opening.

"Fuccckkkkkkkk" said Lin as you slowly slid down him.

"Oh Godddddd,” you responded simultaneously as he stretched you the fuck out. The pleasure was everything. Lin grabbed your ass as you reached the bottom.

"Open your eyes." His voice was a sexy growl and you obeyed him again. You stared at each other. "You good?"

You smiled. "I'm great," and started moving up and down his pole. You felt you would black out at the waves of pleasure coursing through your body. 

Lin was trying to bite, kiss, and lick anything that came near him. your neck, your breasts, your mouth. He wanted to consume you.

"Where do you want this cum? I can't handle it. It's been too long. You feel too good. On your tits? Your face?" Lin at his most pornographic was your favorite song. God. His voice.

Smiling again you answered him. "Maybe later. I want you to paint my walls." 

That broke him. “F-f-fuckkkkkkkkkk.” His eyes rolled back in his head as he grabbed your hair and pistoned his hips up into you.

You leaned over and sucked the shit out of his neck as you worked that ass. You stopped and watched Lins face contort as if in a rage as he came inside you, swearing. You came again almost immediately too. It was hot.

You were in a heap on the bed, your tangled limbs not making your sweaty bodies any cooler. But you stayed there a few minutes, Lin still inside you, his hand stroking your back.

"That was... wow." Lin was amazed at your chemistry.

“Why can’t I hold out longer than a week against you? It’s infuriating.”

“We were made for each other. You can’t fight fate.” He kissed the top of your head.

“Fucker.” You were mad that you couldn’t stay mad.

He stood and pulled you up.

“Now about that phrase, ‘maybe later’…”

You smiled against his lips as you felt him, hard again.

“Why Lin, are you trying to keep me up all night?”

“I told you it would be a long one. You still trying to pick up the boys tomorrow?”

“No. Sunday’s good. Let’s make another baby boy tomorrow.”

Lin took you down to the bed, making good for the next six months.


End file.
